As a rain swept island nation, the Japanese are almost as obsessed with the weather as the British. It’s no wonder then that they have invented so many different types of umbrella. From shoe umbrellas to umbrella hats, they’ve done it all. My favorite is this umbrella tie; it’s dual function convenience means that you will no longer have to worry about leaving your umbrella on the bus. Although as a fashion statement it does leave something to be desired.
Do you miss your boyfriend or girlfriend? Do you wish you had one? Having trouble sleeping by yourself? Then why not buy a cuddly quarter of a person to snuggle up to at night. A half torso with arm is available for the girls. For the boys, a soft lap to fall asleep on.
That’s right, this elephant cleans urinals. All you have to do is push it up against the urinal and it will get to work cleaning out all those stray pubic hairs, leaving your urinal sparkling and minty fresh. The problem is that it’s just so big. Whilst cleaners will be glad of the labour the elephant saves them, businesses will struggle to find a place to store it.
Those crazy guys really do think of everything. They’ve even invented a brand of chewing gum that will increase a man’s sexual performance. It contains ‘plant testosterone’ to make your wood harder. There is also a female verson of the product which promises to make women more attractive. B2Up Bust Up Gum will give your boobs a natural lift if chewed three times a day. Bored secretaries will love it.
There eye drop funnel glasses have to be the most pointless invention to ever come out of Japan. If you can’t aim an eye dropper directly into your eyes then you probably don’t deserve to have eyes in the first place. Perhaps a device that would keep you from blinking would be more useful.
By the time the weekend rolls around, many of us like to unwind with a nice adult beverage (and hey, if you’re feeling randy, an adult movie to match). Whether you’re a beer drinker, a wine drinker, or someone who likes girly drinks with little umbrellas, it’s always nice to just sit back and relax, reveling in the fact that the work week is over. And then when Sunday rolls around, you start drinking again when you realize that the new workday is almost upon you. The bottom line is that Homer Simpson was right. Alcohol really is the cause of and solution to all of life’s little problems. Of course, some people go a little crazy with their alcohol. No, I’m not talking about how much they consume. I’m talking about the weird, crazy stuff they put in it. And boy, do they ever put some weird, crazy s$*t in their alcohol.
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When you sit down to watch the proverbial big game, chances are that if you’re of legal drinking age (or hell, maybe even if you’re not) you will be enjoying a nice cold beer and a few slices of pizza as you watch sweaty men in tight fitting clothes slam repeatedly into one another. Well apparently one day someone looked at the pizza, looked at the beer, and thought, “Hey, that might make a good beer flavor.”
I can’t imagine this person was correct, but for whatever reason, Pizza Beer actually exists. The Mamma Mia Pizza Beer company decided that it might be a good idea to throw all of their favorite pizza ingredients together, make them nice and alcoholic and pass them off as beer. The ingredients include actual pizza crust, tomato, oregano, basil and garlic. Finally, the beer that combines drunkenness and late night drunken munchies into one convenient little bottle!
Just as much as we all love a little pizza to go along with our beer, we love…chocolate donuts? Wait, combining chocolate donuts and beer together doesn’t sound very appetizing. Probably due to the fact that one is extremely sweet, while the other is often as bitter as a jilted lover. Which, for the record, is pretty damn bitter.
Still, chocolate beer is actually pretty common, and if you like thick, heavy stouts it’s really not that bad. Hell, it’s so common that even Samuel Adams brews a chocolate bock, and Sapporo, a Japanese beer company, brewed its Chocolate Brewery with real Royce chocolates (a big time chocolate company in Japan). But chocolate donut beer? That’s a new one on me. And it sounds delicious.
And what better to wash down that chocolate donut beer than with a little milk? Milk vodka, that is. Well, they say milk does a body good. But what happens when you use milk to make a highly potent brand of vodka? If you’re anything like me, you’ve found a new way to eat your Cap’n Crunch. But there are vodkas out there that use milk as the primary ingredient, such as Vermont White. Vermont White combines the creamy taste of vanilla with the biting warmth of, well, vodka.
As far as vodkas go, it is actually pretty damn good, too. It’s even gained a little bit of fame, too, as reportedly Jay-Z himself is a pretty big fan of the stuff and rumor has it it’s prevalent at his 40-40 Club in New York City. Hey, if it’s good enough for Jay-Z, it’s good enough for us.
If you weren’t content before with the awful gas that beer alone gave you, your significant other will be just thrilled to learn that someone has taken it upon his or herself to remedy that problem with the creation of chili beer. Combining the power of alcohol and chili, the key ingredient to almost every Mexican dish that ever made your farts damn near lethal without the additional aid of beer, your Dutch ovens have never been so potent (and potentially life threatening).
Now whereas most people like to drink a beer to quench their thirst and often to help fight spicy foods, the people who make chili beer have decided that a beer that doesn’t burn your mouth is for pansies. The idea actually started when, rather than using a lime like most people someone decided to push a chili pepper down into the beer. Shockingly, it didn’t go over well. Even more shockingly, they decided to make a beer based on the idea anyway.
Now while milk is a relatively tame thing to find in your beer, probably the last thing you might expect to find when you look in your bottle of spirits is a snake. And I mean, an actual, full snake. However, a man in Texas who raised rattlesnakes actually decided that what people wanted was a bottle of vodka and market it as an “ancient Asian elixir.” The sad part is that people actually bought it (both his story, and the snake vodka).
Now I’m trying to figure out which part is harder to believe: the fact that people saw a snake in a bottle of vodka and thought “okay, I can get down with the preposterous idea that this is somehow an Asian elixir” or the fact that someone out there actually raises rattlesnakes. In any event, eventually this guy got arrested, but you can find snake vodka all over the internet these days. You just might want to avoid ever coming into contact with anyone who actually has a bottle.
Okay, so this might not quite fit with the rest of these entries because frankly, there’s nothing out of the ordinary about the taste or ingredients of this particular alcoholic beverage. So why does it land on a list of the weirdest alcoholic beverages? Because unlike every other drink here (or hell, every other drink on the planet), this one is aimed specifically at kids. Not teenagers, mind you, but actual children. You stay classy, Japan!
Now what I want to know is exactly how is it sold? I’d like to imagine that when you walk into a grocery store in Japan, you’ll find it right there on the shelf next to the juice boxes and Capri Sun. Frankly, I’m kind of saddened by the fact that I never got any Kid’s Wine in my lunch at school.
Now if you’ve decided you really want to market your alcohol toward millions of sweet, innocent children, and you really want to turn them into drunks by age 10, you might want to invent chocolate wine. Oh, it already exists?
Yes, yes it does. Back to the old “getting kids drunk” drawing board! Chocolate wine is considered a dessert wine because, well, chocolate. Some of these wines (and there are apparently a lot of wineries that make chocolate wine) have only chocolate flavoring, while some go all out and turn it into what basically amounts to the wine version of a stout beer by actually mixing a bunch of delicious chocolate in along with the other ingredients. Oh, and it’s really, really potent, packing about 19% alcohol into every serving.
Wait, did I call chocolate wine weird? I meant to say brilliant. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find about 10 bottles for dessert tonight.
Original article and pictures take www.weirdworm.com site
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